I’ve had it up to hear with two things: the double-standard that’s being slung around about women’s sexuality, and our (albeit silent) acceptance of it all. What’s the matter with women looking, feeling, and otherwise being sexy? Does that stop us from being mothers, daughters, sisters, businesswomen, granddaughters, wives, friends, mentors, leaders, creatives?
I was talking with some ladies the other day (how all my stories start this way, I don’t know) about lingerie. They were shocked that I do pay attention to my lingerie, even though my fiancee isn’t around. It bothers me because I think that lingerie is both a private and quasi-public pleasure (OK, so my audience is 1 - it’s still an audience!) - why is it wrong to praise good lingerie?
I want bras that hug, embrace, caress, lift, and protect. I like color. Texture. Fabric is also a point of interest - give me satin, give me lace, give me soft fabrics that make time melt away!
Our greatest enemy seems to be ourselves. I can’t change the way people think, but I can change the way I talk about things. And I want sexy lingerie for me first.
Does it help or hurt that our thoughts of lingerie linger around sex? Are we quieter about corsets and hosiery than we are about camisoles and high-heels because it’s related to “that issue”? Or am I just missing out on the secret cabal of plus size lingerie blogs, where we vocal and verbose plus size fashion bloggers are really sermonizing?
In order to feel desirable, to feel loved, to feel good about ourselves, we have to start at the root. That root is us - not the media, not the stores (I actually did a post without striking at Charming….OK, maybe not), not family. US!
A wise woman told me once, “My dear, if you want to truly walk in this world and be substantial, you have two choices. You can either be a pretty girl or a smart girl. I’m not saying smart ladies can’t be beautiful, but if you go for the lipstick instead of the lecturn, you might just be more miserable than ever thought possible.”
Maybe in 2006 we’ll have it all, ladies.
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dee·lux·GRRL n.An intelligent, dynamic female who isn't afraid to take risks, take time for herself, or create her own unique style!
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