I went to the Avenue the other day and picked up a shirt and a nice skirt for $20! You heard me: $20 total, not each. It’s so exciting to go to the store and see that. I stopped in to Lane Bryant and picked up two shirts on sale for $4 a piece! My frugality knows no bounds!

I should have picked up a few sweaters — yes, Spring Time is here, but I live in the Ozarks! It’s like: warm! cold! hot! cold! warm! cold! hot hot hot! rain! snow! rain! ice ice ice ice….you get the idea.

It’s been crazy busy around here — I’m trying to launch Take Back the Score! and I’m behind on that.

My words stem from personal experience. This post is short (edit: OK, it wanted to be short…), but I want to underscore a few things:

You are worthy. It’s not a conditional thing, something you lose. You’re worthy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

You’re worthy even if he leaves.
You’re worthy even if you gain a pound.
You’re worthy even if you can’t seem to remember the milk.
You’re worthy even if the kids have an off day.
You’re worthy even if you and your mother-in-law never see eye to eye.

You’re worthy even if you forget to send a Valentine’s Day card.
You’re worthy even if the alarm clock fails to launch.
You’re worthy even if the neighbors outdo you.
You’re worthy even if you burn water.
You’re worthy even if the house is a mess.

You’re worthy even if that lone white sock will never find its partner.
You’re worthy even if no one laughs at your jokes.
You’re worthy even if the “cool kids” think you’re a dork.
You’re worthy even if those skinny jeans don’t fit anymore.

You’re worthy even if every guy in the room can’t get enough of the Dallas cheerleaders.
You’re worthy even if it rains and you just washed the car.
You’re worthy even if you’re too short to change the overhead light (even with the ladder!!)
You’re worthy even if the car won’t start because you left your cell phone charger in the cigarette power plug thingy (all of you know what I’m talking about; I’m just the first one to admit it)

You’re worthy even if your teacher can’t stand your latest essay.
You’re worthy even if you’re wearing white boots after Labor Day.
You’re worthy, worthy, worthy, because you’re here!

I don’t think we can have enough discussion of worth, and attempts to share good self-esteem is important.
Going through my recent/current breakup, I have to always remember that I’m /worthy/ regardless of my relationship status.

Why am I writing about something so personal on a plus size fashion website? Simple. For women, it’s never about one specific thing. It’s always related — we buy clothes that make us feel good, we shop to take our minds off what’s going on elsewhere.

I’ve bought pretty things, went on vacation — even went out for something to eat — and I still have to deal with being a party of one instead of pair of deuces. It’s an experience that hurts, but it’s also an amazing magnifying glass for yourself — you get to see everything you’ve been putting off, and realizing that you should never have to put off a thing.

Now I’m off to finish my articles, lest my darling editor (I LOVE Aja!) get thrown off course.

(of course, even if I don’t make it, I’m still worthy…though woefully unprofessional.) *runs*

My queendom for a plus size boutique in Springfield to magically produce dresses. I know, it’s gotta be a major sin in 2007 to crave a brick-and-mortar store, but there’s something about being able to try on clothes. This is a point that Deluxemom has been trying to make to me for months now, and I get it. I’ll chalk it up to her experience in these matters, or something sensible like that.

So right now, I’m having a princess moment. Need. Dresses. Now. My local Charming Shoppes triumvirate doesn’t have any dresses last time I checked — Fashion Bug lady told me that they aren’t buying any dresses anytime soon. I don’t know if Cathie’s or LB have anything spectacular — judging from their online offering, the answer is a resounding NO (at least in the dress department, but I’m honestly a touch bored with Lane Bryant. Feed me, indie designers, feeeeeed me!)

What I’m looking for in a dress can only be summed up in the most awesomest, fangirlish way: a picture of what I’m currently deciding upon.

Behold, fashionistas!

This red little number says to me, “Come away with me, we’ll have all sorts of fun.” The tax season has brought me a surprising amount of booty, and I’m already thinking of ways to plunder this new found treasure chest. Yarr!

…restraint, grrl. Restraint…

Isabella Murphy realizes that the dresses aren’t just coming, they’re already here. Will the main character remain financial sensible, or will she go nuts in the store, careening through aisles with reckless abandon? Tune in as our luxuriously deluxe leading lady continues to find the perfect dress…

I’m not quite sure Slim fast is getting a clue — the last round of commercials that sounded really interesting. I mean, the commercial included hips and curves — at least I think so. Of course, I’m always happy about diversity — but that isn’t the point of my concern.

The theme music is catchy — I mean who doesn’t like jazzy music? Having the models, “shake it to left and shake it to the right” is clever, but I wonder if Slim Fast actually wants to promote a healthy body image?

I do like the way this advertising is going — shifting from a move to super skinny to a (gasp) “healthy at every size?” If the focus is on keeping your hips & curves, I’m definitely interested. Though my cynical nature makes me think this is 100% a marketing ploy to catch that ever-loyal (and deep pocketed) plus size market.

I tried to find the commercial I’m talking about on youtube, but I can’t. I did find another site talking about it The Hathor Legacy. We both agree on one thing though: it looks good that Slim Fast is using real people with realistic weight goals.

Check out an index page on the Slim Fast website. It’s got the gals from the commercial, along with some nice looking plus sized men. Yum

Maybe my cynicism is undeserved, but I’m always wary of advertising — and I’m immersed in quite a bit of the stuff every day — more so than the average person. If Slim Fast is turning a new leaf, hopefully that could mean a big change in the weight loss industry as a whole. After all, SF is a major player in the game (mainly basing this off ad rotation — a company wouldn’t grab professionalesque TV commercials on multiple networks if they weren’t turning a good sales volume, in my opinion), and it could signal that other players will follow suit.

We’ll have to see. For now, I’ll take Slim Fast in the Kitchen with the Candlestick — I don’t think wax has calories.

What’s your clue?

or, “Let’s clarify a few things to the readers”, but that’s not as search engine friendly.

When I wrote, “More On Body Image”, I didn’t mean to sound condescending — I love fashion as much as any lady around, and I stand on that until they put me in the ground. However, I also know all too well how easy it is to fall into a neverending cycle of the not-good-enough’s.

Like most women, I have to wear multiple hats, but I can’t be explicitly defined by any one of them, unless I want to forever try to live up to the demands of that hat. Even though I’m engaged, I try hard not to spend time flipping through “dream wedding” catalogs — I don’t have to compete with the Joneses — though I don’t mind having coffee with them!

Unfortunately, our fight for a positive body image begins with the mind, wraps around society, and ends with sisterhood. That’s right, I mentioned the “S” word — sisterhood. We have to stop eyeballing each other in the store and start realizing that hey, the stylish woman I’m envying probably has the same body hangups I do!

The muffin top? Been there. Those after-holiday love handles? Have those too. Does that mean that Mr. Deluxe is supposed to withhold his love for me until I get those suckers off? Absolutely not! Trying to wait wistfully for the “skinny days” just isn’t going to cut it for me, and it shouldn’t cut it for you either.

So let’s start fresh. If you can’t say everyday, “I am a woman of worth, and there is nothing that can change that for me.”, no silk blouse, pleated skirt, or wrap dress is going to change that. Sexiness, like most other perceived attributes (more on that point later), begins with an affirmation of self. You have to feel it.

My own daily struggle is to love myself first. If I can do that, then I don’t have to worry about the fluctuations of other people. They can pick and choose when to love you, how to love you, and whether they should even bother — do you really want to put your future in their hands?

We are all women of worth, just by being born. Some of us will lead their lives in the public eye, others will work in the shadows, making the world a better place. Others will do neither of those things, and simply live their lives as best they can. No matter what category you find yourself relating to, you are still a woman of worth.

If we can take that previous paragraph and make it actually take root in our minds, life will turn for the better. It won’t be about the size 0’s, the why-do-the-guys-love-her-and-not-me’s, the thin == worthy’s, or anything of that sort.

It’s about you. And it’s time to start living — with or without fashion. Fashion is unwieldly — we love it, but we’ll be scurrying off to the next fad in a couple of months. Why not try living with style? True style has no ending, my friends, and it always seems to be en vogue.

Build your style today — but even if you don’t, you are, have, and always will be a woman of worth!

Isabella Murphy, among other things, is a woman of worth. And so are you.

Tags: body image, worthiness, woman of worth

OK, I do have to give Ms. Tyra props on her body, all things considered — there’s some serious curves going on. Perhaps there will be some positive use of star power after all. But it doesn’t start and stop with Ms. Banks, ladies.

Now that I’m a work at home couch potato (kidding, kinda), I watch a lot more television. I caught part of a talk show that was talking about family members who were worried about their loved ones being too big. Fat’s a constant theme on these types of shows, but I noticed a few things:

Thin vs. fat vs. healthy: It shouldn’t be a matter of size, it ought to be a matter of health. Feeling good about yourself is part of that, but I don’t think “thin” should automatically be the standard we’re looking at. I have a good feeling about our future though — we’re going to get healthy. We’re going to get smarter about the little stuff.

I pray that our children can simply buy a pair of jeans, without worrying over what the tag says.

I pray that when we ladies go to lunch, that our weight / height / size / dress size wouldn’t be the primary topic. We ladies are taking over colleges, businesses, government, and professions that are still trying to adjust to our presence. Why should our weight/height/size constantly be an issue? Is that really the entirety of our character?

When I hear young women screaming, “I want to be thin”, many would assume that it’s merely those with eating disorders that say that. “That’s not my issue, that’s not my problem.” If that’s our attitude as an industry, then we’re way off base.

I’ll go into plus size stores and hear ladies saying the same things, “Oh, if I could just lose weight, I’d fit into this dress.”

Ladies, read my lips: our lives cannot revolve around what we can fit into. The dress will wait. The blouse will wait. Those jeans will wait. Reminding ourselves that fashion is a tool (albeit a splashy and fantastic one at that) goes a long way.

Your loved ones will still love you at any size — if they can’t, then their love is quite superficial. Know that.

This post is jumbled because body image woes, agonies and problems isn’t organized in our minds. Honestly, it can’t be organized. If our goal is health, then I’m going to be posting my take on health, including the stuff I do for myself (hint: I’m a complete organic fiend, so be prepared).

But if our entire agony surrounds this odd dream of fitting into 32″ jeans, then it’s not just about the pounds.

Tags: body, image

…then again, I’m never quite sure. You see, I don’t see Tyra Banks as fat in the slightest. By the same token, I’m not automatically looking at myself and going, “I’m still hot, I’m still hot”. My life doesn’t revolve around a woman who has made millions off her body. Part of that livelihood means that there will be critics that will note that you’ve gained weight. Some may not be as polite as that, but it is what it is.

“It is what it is” is the catchphrase of our industry — from mainstream fashion right back into us little plus sized ladies. We don’t like our options, but sigh, mentioning our little catchphrase into the conversation: it is what it is. For most, it’s either the mainstream fare, the online boutiques (I’m still not in a clothes buying place, let alone with enough cash to put down for a Monif C. dress), or the sewing machine. Hey, it was good enough for Grandma.

I don’t have anything against Tyra Banks, except that what she’s going through the rest of us go through every. single. day. Maybe that little walk around in a fat suit has finally made her realize that “golly, other people feel like this all the time — *giggle*”. I still don’t think a 5′10″, 161lb. woman can call herself “plus-sized”, but that doesn’t mean I can’t say I don’t understand what she’s going through. It’s quite simple.

The. spotlight. blows. Add in the ex-model part, blend it with the “I tell young women on my hit reality tv show whether or not they make good professional clothes hangers” part, and you’ve got a whole mess of issues just waiting to come out. Sorry to be crass, but let’s not forget one thing: Ms. Banks is a celebrity — and there’s no such thing as bad PR, to be perfectly honest.

Parallel? I’m an internet marketer — and I’ve watched some of the best marketers in the field get torn apart in forums — everything from “this product blows” to more personal attacks. Does it hurt? Of course. However, every single person I know faces criticism in some area. Should Ms. Banks garner more sympathy because she’s a celebrity, even though several of you lovely readers go through similar, if not the exact same struggle every day of the week?

I’ll believe that Ms. Banks has made a change when her ventures change. It’s all well and good to ask for sympathy, but I can’t stay quiet when she runs a reality tv show that’s severely based on weight / appearance. Ms. Banks, does this mean that you’re going to make a way for America’s Next (Plus Sized) Top Model?

I wanna be on top.

Tags: tyra banks, fashion, modeling, plus size fashion, gripes, body image