If you haven’t heard about the Virginia Tech shooting, educate yourself with a google search. For the 99% of the world that’s seen the news, the title of this post is truly fitting.

I look over my room, see all this *stuff*, all these clothes…and realize that honestly, that’s not what I want to think about today, or focus on today.

I don’t know the shooter. I never got to talk to him, I don’t know what he was going through. I do know that he killed a lot of people, and to add insult to injury, killed himself. There’s no one to beat up, there’s no one to scream at, nothing. There are fingers pointing in a million directions, a lonely student that was so filled with rage that he exploded. Was it only a matter of time?

I don’t know how to fix the problem — all I know is that it hurts. Having lost many people over the years (including close friends that were murdered), I still am left with one question: How do we keep this from happening?

We. really. don’t. know.

Today is not a fashion day. Today is a day for thought.

I could not be the bearer of such terrible news to a parent that waits for the day their child comes back home to them, fresh out of college and ready to take on the world.

I am terribly sorry, to those that are burying their children, as well as those that are left with children scrambling to figure out how to move on, how to get past that terrible day. It would be half-baked to exclude them from the list.

To the family of the shooter, you too have lost a child, and for that I am sorry. I pray that the other families will give you peace — you are not your child’s actions.

For the rest of the world, we are left with questions, left with quiet glances at our own children, and constant wonder about what else life will throw at us. Virginia Tech could have easily been Missouri State, could have easily been Duke, or Harvard, or Yale. It could have been your local community college. Maybe that’s why the story touches so many people.

I’ll post tomorrow, but I can’t right now.

I *do* read every last comment posted to this website — I want to make that clear as a bell. I suck at commenting back, and I apologize to all of you that have been commenting on posts you love. Lots of older posts now have comments — thank you so much! Reading your replies makes me realize how important this site really is in the grand scheme of things.

I’m feeling better, but I’ve really felt like pressed wood for the last few days. My head aches, my back aches, and I’m swamped with work. Running a company and trying to get a 2nd one off the ground (yep, that’s right, but I’m keeping quiet on that front for the moment) is sapping a lot of time and energy away from here, and for that I am quite sorry.

I’ll try to think of something to say, but right now, all I’m thinking about is a cup of tea…

…is your confidence. I’ve said that repeatedly, but today, I want to talk about one of the biggest sources of my confidence: Mr. Deluxe, my lovely fiance. Today, January 3rd, 2007, marks our first anniversary. Today was the day that we actually decided to go out.

I don’t talk about Mr. Deluxe often — but without him, Reversia Media wouldn’t quite be the same. I’d have to handle all that financial hoopla on my own, and the IRS is scary enough to need two hands, not one. His financial powers are amazing — I couldn’t ask for a better accountant.

When I’m sad, I have him to tell me that it’s OK to be sad, but things will get better.
When I’m angry, he has a hard time not laughing at me (the whole “you’re cute when you’re mad” thing)
When I’m having a terrible day, he has a way of making me laugh.
When I’m serious, he knows that it’s time to take massive action.

As a marketer, I couldn’t ask for a better asset to my plans. As a woman, I couldn’t ask for a better friend, nor could I ask for a better man. As a fashionista, I couldn’t ask for a better….cap on my finances? Without you, I probably would have bought far more than I could ever afford!

This year hasn’t been the best for me, but you rode it through with a quiet peace that I know comes from within.

I’m a professional, but today, I have to stand in front of all of you and tell you my joy — having Lee in my life makes me a well-rounded (hah!) person, in more ways than one. I thank God everyday for bringing me a man that accepts me at every point in my life.

Thank you, Lee. Happy Anniversary!

(and yes, I’m going out tonight, so you’ll have to wait for more DG excitement!)

I received a comment on my “Real Woman Dollar Conundrum” piece from a few months back. The commenter’s name is Exxie.

Comment:

I was a manager for LB when they were owned by The Limited Inc. and things have not changed much since they were purchased by Charming Shoppes Inc. They offer the nicest clothes in Plus sizes unless you want to go somewhere like Saks Fifth Avenue. Yeah, the prices can be high, but they have great sales and offers like the Real Woman Dollars. Sizing can differ from line to line as is the norm with any designer, you just have to find the ones that fit you properly. I don’t understand where you are going with the whole emotional shopping thing, body image affects people of all sizes, it’s like the big ladies think they deserve special allowances, better prices, etc.

There is always Wal-Mart if you think LB prices are too high….or Weight Watchers

Bold emphases belong to me, natch.

Now, I’m sorry if there are some of you that have a problem with the fact that I have something to say about the way we spend money, and the way companies treat us when we do it. I think if we’re to spend money, it’s important to look at all aspects of the place where we spend it. Coming into the plus size fashion game, I heard a lot about Lane Bryant. After finally experiencing the stores and purchasing items, I’m really not impressed.

But that’s me. If you’re a fan of LB, more power to you. Everyone’s got a brand they’re loyal to — I just haven’t found mine yet.

I don’t think that LB is the best out there for plus sizes — but it is popular. I think that is in part because some of our numbers believe that we should accept whatever’s out there. Again, if LB serves your needs, then I’m literally not talking to you. But if you’re left wondering what else is out there…oh, my friend, this journey is far from over.

To say, “the big ladies think they deserve…” smacks highly of someone who is sitting outside of plus size fashion. Perhaps the plethora of options you’re seeing in a normal size may make it difficult for you to see what plus size women are going through.

By the way, I’m not oblivious to what my slenderer sisters go through — I hear their complaints and they hear mine. We’re both trying to figure the road out — my apologies if you’re already reached enlightenment.

And the final insult of, “There is always Wal-Mart if you think LB prices are too high…or Weight Watchers” is cruel, inappropriate, and makes me wonder why you would step into a plus size woman’s site and spit such filth. If I’m alone in this, that doesn’t dull my anger — on the contrary. This is the fight for recognition coming to my door.

If plus size women don’t stand up to this type of attitude, then Ms. Exxie is right. There is always Wal-Mart. But I’m not going to walk into 2007 and have this attitude.

Last note, before I let this one go. My post was critiquing a sales method — my very first sentence said that my shopping experience was decent. What part of Ms. Exxie’s comment actually wants to try to discuss my actual post, instead of playing the LB cheerleader?

Being a marketer as well as a writer, I’m often curious to see a 360 degree profile of what my audience is doing — buying, selling, eating, drinking, wearing, living. Knowing what you readers like and dislike makes both of the hats I wear much, much, easier to deal with.

That said, I’m putting my marketing cap on.

Deluxegrrl is supported by advertisements, truth, and the American Way. OK, primarily by advertisements. One type of advertisement I’m looking at is called Cost Per Action (CPA) or Pay Per Lead (PPL). As you can see, there are little text ads from Google — those are Pay Per Click (PPC). PPC ads pay decently, but they don’t tell me as much about you as I would have hoped for.

PPL ads are pretty direct — you either click on them and take action, or you don’t. I get a small incentive for the action you take, which further powers this blog (bandwidth, primarily - this site is beginning to take off, and my hosting account knows it ) and keeps my lovely accountant happy.

I’m a fan of relevance — if there are ads on this page, they should be fairly relevant. I’ve turned down sponsors because they don’t quite match the tone and audience of this site. I believe you can keep the lights on without resorting to just any old thing.

So, I’m looking at some CPA networks, and looking at their offerings, the biggest thing in the women’s category is weight loss. Considering this is a plus-size audience, weight is and always will be a sensitive issue (hence why there hasn’t been much discussion on it here). Is weight loss an actual interest of this bunch?

That’s the main question I have: is ‘weight loss’ an actual interest? I’ve been dying to touch on some of the crazy diet notions, talk up some organic stuff, and …well, you’ll see My goal in 2007 is to really reach out to all of you — something that I haven’t quite been successful at in 2006.

That’s my fault. 2006 has been sort of up-and-down for me, Reversia Media (the company behind the pink-and-purple blog you all love so much), and my family/extended family. Death, screwed up hands (I lost sensation in three of my fingers for 2 solid weeks, and I still don’t have sensation in my index finger yet), unemployment, unexpected moves, divorces (not mine ), and overall life have made 2006 sheer trouble for Deluxegrrl, and I’m hoping that 2007 is a lot brighter.

Again, I would like to thank all of you for sharing in the ups-and-downs of Deluxegrrl, and making it an up-and-coming star in the plus size fashion niche. Your comments, links to this site, and ad-love make running this site much, much, easier.

Oh yeah. The last two paragraphs were written with my human cap on, so savor them

Tags: weight loss, plus size fashion, questions, advertising, marketing

I’ve been a little under the weather lately - but the carnival must go on! I’m sure we all have lovely things to discuss, so I wanted to remind everyone that I’m still looking for submissions!

I’ve bumped the carnival’s actual debut to the 31st of July - this should give everyone plenty of time to get their submissions in!

Uh, yeah…that submission part…

Too easy. To submit your carnival entry, go to our page on BlogCarnival. That should get you where you need to be.

I know it’s been a little quiet lately here, but rest assured that I’ll be back with great posts for everyone’s enjoyment!

Stay fashionable!

Tags: carnival of extended style, blog carnival

The site may be a little quiet, ladies: I am looking at a very compromised system and will most likely need to cleanse and reinstall. Don’t worry - new deluxegrrl posts are on the way!