I have to say that I’m excited — a more targeted diet, coupled with exercise, has made me get closer and closer to my goal weight. However, the more I read in the plus size fashion world, the less I feel as if I deserve a voice — especially if instead of a size 24, I become an 8 or a 10.

Therefore, today’s question is, what qualifications must be met before one can, with conviction and credibility, write about women’s plus size fashion. Does one have to be plus sized in order to do this? Heck, does one even have to be a woman in order to write about plus size fashion?

Well, the latter question is answered with a no, as Glen from Full Figure Plus writes about women’s plus size fashion all the time.

But the other question, for me, is harder to answer. The designer of a well-received brand in the plus size world, Igigi, is not a plus size woman in the slightest. Yet her line of clothing has turned women’s heads and made us all collectively drool (and collectively wince over the price tag) over those collections.

I’m a blogger that writes about women’s plus size fashion, who is also plus sized herself. However, I’m reaching a part of my life where I need to get active. Am I silently slapping the faces of silent multitudes who aren’t down with the weight loss train? I certainly hope not, though I feel as if I post progress on my weight loss or anything health-wise, I will undoubtedly step on some toes.

You want to know something about weight loss and Deluxegrrl? It’s been a hard ride. I’ve given up soda, candy, chocolate (for the most part. I do slip in a little dark chocolate as a treat every now and again), ice cream (now reserved as a once in a while treat), and fast food (though I still order a steak at a nice restaurant). Am I going to plus size hell for giving up the grease? I surely hope not, but since I kinda exist in a bubble, I’d appreciate comments at this point.

Whenever someone talks about weight loss, especially a plus size person, I almost feel like a million people are sighing, like “oh no, not another ex-big-girl-to-be!” It’s not like I’m going to go from a 24 to a 2, I just don’t have that type of build. But even at 19 going on 20, I have to get real: diabetes, high blood pressure, and other ailments are a huge problem in my family, and the thought of jabbing myself three times a day (or more, my mom definitely had to poke herself a lot more than that!) with a needle is not my idea of a good time.

I’m not saying that every plus sized person is on the same wavelength as me, or faces the same problems as me. I know several that are healthy as horses, and could outrun me on a bad day. But I’m taking control of this weight loss issue for my health, and therefore I might have to break away from traditional thought on the plus size manner.

If I was doing this for looks, I’d laugh at myself. I’m no starlet, but I definitely get enough attention when I’m out being just plain old Isabella. So I don’t wish to do this for the “hot factor”, since my ego tells me I’m hot as is. But when it comes to describing myself, I’d prefer elegant over hot, it seems to last longer.

OK, I’m done. Discuss.

Tags: weight, weight loss, size, size acceptance, plus size, plus size community, community

Skirts. Dresses. Blouses. I’ve never really been a t-shirt and jeans type of person. One thing I’m really interested in are short skirts.

Yes, I said it: short skirts. It’s not a crime for a plus-sized gal to be able to slip into something slinky that sits a few inches above the knee, flirty and feminine. Or maybe a long skirt with a dangerously-high slit. I’m into sexy-looking clothes for evening wear, and unless I bump heads with the lingerie sites, I’m incapable of locating what I’m looking for.

So I’m turning to the greatest audience on earth — help! And an additional question — what’s your sexy?

And no, I actually did some checking online too

Happy Easter / Resurrection Sunday to those observing the holiday, and to those still surviving Pesach (Passover), happy no-leavening remembrance to you too! OK, I’m suffering silently, but it’s not helping that Martha’s in the kitchen making hot crossed buns so good I want to reach into the tv and take them all!

Some of you may know that I’ve been bouncing back and forth between choosing a way of eating. Why didn’t I mention the dreaded “D” word? Because we know all about that. I want to talk about a way of eating — it may be high fiber / high protein, low carb, low fat, low calorie. Whatever your “diet” (which really should just describe what you shove into your yap. I shove lots of kosher, organic, and often high carb things into my trap. However, now I’m a little smarter about what I shove into my yap.) consists of, it’s a personal choice that only turns public when we socialize …but since food is also culture, it bears discussion here as well.

I have often wondered why I am so obsessive about personally curbing food in various ways. I’ve gone nuts over carbs, slashing and burning like an angry flame zipping through a forest. I’ve declared a war on sugar, cutting away sugary sodas. OK, so I’m proud of giving up my soda. Unfortunately, I haven’t really seen the results of that.

I drink 100% juice, even though it has lots of carbs, and I try to eat as much organic food as possible. That part doesn’t quite bother me.

But I can’t keep counting. I can’t keep counting calories, carbs, fat… I can limit my portions.
I can’t keep stressing that I only manage to get 25 minutes of cardio at the gym, while other women there can do an hour or more. I can only worry about myself.

I cannot believe how sick I’ve made myself…maybe not physically, but mentally. I feel terrible to admit this, but I also feel terrible if I didn’t mention it. I’d be doing all of you a great disservice. I’m not perfect, and never will be.

I’ve been silent here on DG for a while because of this. It’s odd, and embarassing to say on a public blog where THOUSANDS of you are viewing this every month, but there it is. I never realized how depressed this has made me until today. So in a way, I do apologize — I haven’t done my job. Writing this blog post just might help someone else.

We’re all smart, dynamic, amazing women. I was going to keep this private, but I wanted to share it with all of you. Thank you for listening.

Y’all have probably heard this video again.

Favorite quote from the video: “Throw out the clothes that you can’t wear anymore. They’re just taking up space, and PISSING YOU OFF!”

Thoughts, ladies and gents?

Even though I’m moving towards low-carb eating after Passover/Unleavened Bread/First Fruits, I still hear loud and clear what she’s saying! Rockin’.

Oh yeah, and the woman is BEAUTIFUL. Oh man.

This blog isn’t just about fashion; somehow I started talking about life. I want to say thank you to all my friends, my family members, and everyone else who has came to this site, even if it’s just a quick visit to see if I’m still here, and if I’m still well.

The last few days have been…interesting. Dating again has felt so weird, after being in such a long relationship. However, there’s something that smacked me hard: I’m good as-is.

It’s such a simple, simple, concept, yet I’m wonderful the way I am, instead of feeling like I have to lose 3 million pounds. I’ve gotten so many compliments — I dress nice and keep myself looking good.

It seems like my trademark smile has lead me to a very interesting social life…that’s all this fashionista’s gonna say for now. Oh, and a small lament about the $300 I spent on new clothes…but they’re so pretty!

Take care for now,

Isabella

My words stem from personal experience. This post is short (edit: OK, it wanted to be short…), but I want to underscore a few things:

You are worthy. It’s not a conditional thing, something you lose. You’re worthy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

You’re worthy even if he leaves.
You’re worthy even if you gain a pound.
You’re worthy even if you can’t seem to remember the milk.
You’re worthy even if the kids have an off day.
You’re worthy even if you and your mother-in-law never see eye to eye.

You’re worthy even if you forget to send a Valentine’s Day card.
You’re worthy even if the alarm clock fails to launch.
You’re worthy even if the neighbors outdo you.
You’re worthy even if you burn water.
You’re worthy even if the house is a mess.

You’re worthy even if that lone white sock will never find its partner.
You’re worthy even if no one laughs at your jokes.
You’re worthy even if the “cool kids” think you’re a dork.
You’re worthy even if those skinny jeans don’t fit anymore.

You’re worthy even if every guy in the room can’t get enough of the Dallas cheerleaders.
You’re worthy even if it rains and you just washed the car.
You’re worthy even if you’re too short to change the overhead light (even with the ladder!!)
You’re worthy even if the car won’t start because you left your cell phone charger in the cigarette power plug thingy (all of you know what I’m talking about; I’m just the first one to admit it)

You’re worthy even if your teacher can’t stand your latest essay.
You’re worthy even if you’re wearing white boots after Labor Day.
You’re worthy, worthy, worthy, because you’re here!

I don’t think we can have enough discussion of worth, and attempts to share good self-esteem is important.
Going through my recent/current breakup, I have to always remember that I’m /worthy/ regardless of my relationship status.

Why am I writing about something so personal on a plus size fashion website? Simple. For women, it’s never about one specific thing. It’s always related — we buy clothes that make us feel good, we shop to take our minds off what’s going on elsewhere.

I’ve bought pretty things, went on vacation — even went out for something to eat — and I still have to deal with being a party of one instead of pair of deuces. It’s an experience that hurts, but it’s also an amazing magnifying glass for yourself — you get to see everything you’ve been putting off, and realizing that you should never have to put off a thing.

Now I’m off to finish my articles, lest my darling editor (I LOVE Aja!) get thrown off course.

(of course, even if I don’t make it, I’m still worthy…though woefully unprofessional.) *runs*

OK, I do have to give Ms. Tyra props on her body, all things considered — there’s some serious curves going on. Perhaps there will be some positive use of star power after all. But it doesn’t start and stop with Ms. Banks, ladies.

Now that I’m a work at home couch potato (kidding, kinda), I watch a lot more television. I caught part of a talk show that was talking about family members who were worried about their loved ones being too big. Fat’s a constant theme on these types of shows, but I noticed a few things:

Thin vs. fat vs. healthy: It shouldn’t be a matter of size, it ought to be a matter of health. Feeling good about yourself is part of that, but I don’t think “thin” should automatically be the standard we’re looking at. I have a good feeling about our future though — we’re going to get healthy. We’re going to get smarter about the little stuff.

I pray that our children can simply buy a pair of jeans, without worrying over what the tag says.

I pray that when we ladies go to lunch, that our weight / height / size / dress size wouldn’t be the primary topic. We ladies are taking over colleges, businesses, government, and professions that are still trying to adjust to our presence. Why should our weight/height/size constantly be an issue? Is that really the entirety of our character?

When I hear young women screaming, “I want to be thin”, many would assume that it’s merely those with eating disorders that say that. “That’s not my issue, that’s not my problem.” If that’s our attitude as an industry, then we’re way off base.

I’ll go into plus size stores and hear ladies saying the same things, “Oh, if I could just lose weight, I’d fit into this dress.”

Ladies, read my lips: our lives cannot revolve around what we can fit into. The dress will wait. The blouse will wait. Those jeans will wait. Reminding ourselves that fashion is a tool (albeit a splashy and fantastic one at that) goes a long way.

Your loved ones will still love you at any size — if they can’t, then their love is quite superficial. Know that.

This post is jumbled because body image woes, agonies and problems isn’t organized in our minds. Honestly, it can’t be organized. If our goal is health, then I’m going to be posting my take on health, including the stuff I do for myself (hint: I’m a complete organic fiend, so be prepared).

But if our entire agony surrounds this odd dream of fitting into 32″ jeans, then it’s not just about the pounds.

Tags: body, image

…then again, I’m never quite sure. You see, I don’t see Tyra Banks as fat in the slightest. By the same token, I’m not automatically looking at myself and going, “I’m still hot, I’m still hot”. My life doesn’t revolve around a woman who has made millions off her body. Part of that livelihood means that there will be critics that will note that you’ve gained weight. Some may not be as polite as that, but it is what it is.

“It is what it is” is the catchphrase of our industry — from mainstream fashion right back into us little plus sized ladies. We don’t like our options, but sigh, mentioning our little catchphrase into the conversation: it is what it is. For most, it’s either the mainstream fare, the online boutiques (I’m still not in a clothes buying place, let alone with enough cash to put down for a Monif C. dress), or the sewing machine. Hey, it was good enough for Grandma.

I don’t have anything against Tyra Banks, except that what she’s going through the rest of us go through every. single. day. Maybe that little walk around in a fat suit has finally made her realize that “golly, other people feel like this all the time — *giggle*”. I still don’t think a 5′10″, 161lb. woman can call herself “plus-sized”, but that doesn’t mean I can’t say I don’t understand what she’s going through. It’s quite simple.

The. spotlight. blows. Add in the ex-model part, blend it with the “I tell young women on my hit reality tv show whether or not they make good professional clothes hangers” part, and you’ve got a whole mess of issues just waiting to come out. Sorry to be crass, but let’s not forget one thing: Ms. Banks is a celebrity — and there’s no such thing as bad PR, to be perfectly honest.

Parallel? I’m an internet marketer — and I’ve watched some of the best marketers in the field get torn apart in forums — everything from “this product blows” to more personal attacks. Does it hurt? Of course. However, every single person I know faces criticism in some area. Should Ms. Banks garner more sympathy because she’s a celebrity, even though several of you lovely readers go through similar, if not the exact same struggle every day of the week?

I’ll believe that Ms. Banks has made a change when her ventures change. It’s all well and good to ask for sympathy, but I can’t stay quiet when she runs a reality tv show that’s severely based on weight / appearance. Ms. Banks, does this mean that you’re going to make a way for America’s Next (Plus Sized) Top Model?

I wanna be on top.

Tags: tyra banks, fashion, modeling, plus size fashion, gripes, body image

I received a comment on my “Real Woman Dollar Conundrum” piece from a few months back. The commenter’s name is Exxie.

Comment:

I was a manager for LB when they were owned by The Limited Inc. and things have not changed much since they were purchased by Charming Shoppes Inc. They offer the nicest clothes in Plus sizes unless you want to go somewhere like Saks Fifth Avenue. Yeah, the prices can be high, but they have great sales and offers like the Real Woman Dollars. Sizing can differ from line to line as is the norm with any designer, you just have to find the ones that fit you properly. I don’t understand where you are going with the whole emotional shopping thing, body image affects people of all sizes, it’s like the big ladies think they deserve special allowances, better prices, etc.

There is always Wal-Mart if you think LB prices are too high….or Weight Watchers

Bold emphases belong to me, natch.

Now, I’m sorry if there are some of you that have a problem with the fact that I have something to say about the way we spend money, and the way companies treat us when we do it. I think if we’re to spend money, it’s important to look at all aspects of the place where we spend it. Coming into the plus size fashion game, I heard a lot about Lane Bryant. After finally experiencing the stores and purchasing items, I’m really not impressed.

But that’s me. If you’re a fan of LB, more power to you. Everyone’s got a brand they’re loyal to — I just haven’t found mine yet.

I don’t think that LB is the best out there for plus sizes — but it is popular. I think that is in part because some of our numbers believe that we should accept whatever’s out there. Again, if LB serves your needs, then I’m literally not talking to you. But if you’re left wondering what else is out there…oh, my friend, this journey is far from over.

To say, “the big ladies think they deserve…” smacks highly of someone who is sitting outside of plus size fashion. Perhaps the plethora of options you’re seeing in a normal size may make it difficult for you to see what plus size women are going through.

By the way, I’m not oblivious to what my slenderer sisters go through — I hear their complaints and they hear mine. We’re both trying to figure the road out — my apologies if you’re already reached enlightenment.

And the final insult of, “There is always Wal-Mart if you think LB prices are too high…or Weight Watchers” is cruel, inappropriate, and makes me wonder why you would step into a plus size woman’s site and spit such filth. If I’m alone in this, that doesn’t dull my anger — on the contrary. This is the fight for recognition coming to my door.

If plus size women don’t stand up to this type of attitude, then Ms. Exxie is right. There is always Wal-Mart. But I’m not going to walk into 2007 and have this attitude.

Last note, before I let this one go. My post was critiquing a sales method — my very first sentence said that my shopping experience was decent. What part of Ms. Exxie’s comment actually wants to try to discuss my actual post, instead of playing the LB cheerleader?

Being a marketer as well as a writer, I’m often curious to see a 360 degree profile of what my audience is doing — buying, selling, eating, drinking, wearing, living. Knowing what you readers like and dislike makes both of the hats I wear much, much, easier to deal with.

That said, I’m putting my marketing cap on.

Deluxegrrl is supported by advertisements, truth, and the American Way. OK, primarily by advertisements. One type of advertisement I’m looking at is called Cost Per Action (CPA) or Pay Per Lead (PPL). As you can see, there are little text ads from Google — those are Pay Per Click (PPC). PPC ads pay decently, but they don’t tell me as much about you as I would have hoped for.

PPL ads are pretty direct — you either click on them and take action, or you don’t. I get a small incentive for the action you take, which further powers this blog (bandwidth, primarily - this site is beginning to take off, and my hosting account knows it ) and keeps my lovely accountant happy.

I’m a fan of relevance — if there are ads on this page, they should be fairly relevant. I’ve turned down sponsors because they don’t quite match the tone and audience of this site. I believe you can keep the lights on without resorting to just any old thing.

So, I’m looking at some CPA networks, and looking at their offerings, the biggest thing in the women’s category is weight loss. Considering this is a plus-size audience, weight is and always will be a sensitive issue (hence why there hasn’t been much discussion on it here). Is weight loss an actual interest of this bunch?

That’s the main question I have: is ‘weight loss’ an actual interest? I’ve been dying to touch on some of the crazy diet notions, talk up some organic stuff, and …well, you’ll see My goal in 2007 is to really reach out to all of you — something that I haven’t quite been successful at in 2006.

That’s my fault. 2006 has been sort of up-and-down for me, Reversia Media (the company behind the pink-and-purple blog you all love so much), and my family/extended family. Death, screwed up hands (I lost sensation in three of my fingers for 2 solid weeks, and I still don’t have sensation in my index finger yet), unemployment, unexpected moves, divorces (not mine ), and overall life have made 2006 sheer trouble for Deluxegrrl, and I’m hoping that 2007 is a lot brighter.

Again, I would like to thank all of you for sharing in the ups-and-downs of Deluxegrrl, and making it an up-and-coming star in the plus size fashion niche. Your comments, links to this site, and ad-love make running this site much, much, easier.

Oh yeah. The last two paragraphs were written with my human cap on, so savor them

Tags: weight loss, plus size fashion, questions, advertising, marketing