Skirts. Dresses. Blouses. I’ve never really been a t-shirt and jeans type of person. One thing I’m really interested in are short skirts.

Yes, I said it: short skirts. It’s not a crime for a plus-sized gal to be able to slip into something slinky that sits a few inches above the knee, flirty and feminine. Or maybe a long skirt with a dangerously-high slit. I’m into sexy-looking clothes for evening wear, and unless I bump heads with the lingerie sites, I’m incapable of locating what I’m looking for.

So I’m turning to the greatest audience on earth — help! And an additional question — what’s your sexy?

And no, I actually did some checking online too

Happy Easter / Resurrection Sunday to those observing the holiday, and to those still surviving Pesach (Passover), happy no-leavening remembrance to you too! OK, I’m suffering silently, but it’s not helping that Martha’s in the kitchen making hot crossed buns so good I want to reach into the tv and take them all!

Some of you may know that I’ve been bouncing back and forth between choosing a way of eating. Why didn’t I mention the dreaded “D” word? Because we know all about that. I want to talk about a way of eating — it may be high fiber / high protein, low carb, low fat, low calorie. Whatever your “diet” (which really should just describe what you shove into your yap. I shove lots of kosher, organic, and often high carb things into my trap. However, now I’m a little smarter about what I shove into my yap.) consists of, it’s a personal choice that only turns public when we socialize …but since food is also culture, it bears discussion here as well.

I have often wondered why I am so obsessive about personally curbing food in various ways. I’ve gone nuts over carbs, slashing and burning like an angry flame zipping through a forest. I’ve declared a war on sugar, cutting away sugary sodas. OK, so I’m proud of giving up my soda. Unfortunately, I haven’t really seen the results of that.

I drink 100% juice, even though it has lots of carbs, and I try to eat as much organic food as possible. That part doesn’t quite bother me.

But I can’t keep counting. I can’t keep counting calories, carbs, fat… I can limit my portions.
I can’t keep stressing that I only manage to get 25 minutes of cardio at the gym, while other women there can do an hour or more. I can only worry about myself.

I cannot believe how sick I’ve made myself…maybe not physically, but mentally. I feel terrible to admit this, but I also feel terrible if I didn’t mention it. I’d be doing all of you a great disservice. I’m not perfect, and never will be.

I’ve been silent here on DG for a while because of this. It’s odd, and embarassing to say on a public blog where THOUSANDS of you are viewing this every month, but there it is. I never realized how depressed this has made me until today. So in a way, I do apologize — I haven’t done my job. Writing this blog post just might help someone else.

We’re all smart, dynamic, amazing women. I was going to keep this private, but I wanted to share it with all of you. Thank you for listening.

I *do* read every last comment posted to this website — I want to make that clear as a bell. I suck at commenting back, and I apologize to all of you that have been commenting on posts you love. Lots of older posts now have comments — thank you so much! Reading your replies makes me realize how important this site really is in the grand scheme of things.

I’m feeling better, but I’ve really felt like pressed wood for the last few days. My head aches, my back aches, and I’m swamped with work. Running a company and trying to get a 2nd one off the ground (yep, that’s right, but I’m keeping quiet on that front for the moment) is sapping a lot of time and energy away from here, and for that I am quite sorry.

I’ll try to think of something to say, but right now, all I’m thinking about is a cup of tea…

…is your confidence. I’ve said that repeatedly, but today, I want to talk about one of the biggest sources of my confidence: Mr. Deluxe, my lovely fiance. Today, January 3rd, 2007, marks our first anniversary. Today was the day that we actually decided to go out.

I don’t talk about Mr. Deluxe often — but without him, Reversia Media wouldn’t quite be the same. I’d have to handle all that financial hoopla on my own, and the IRS is scary enough to need two hands, not one. His financial powers are amazing — I couldn’t ask for a better accountant.

When I’m sad, I have him to tell me that it’s OK to be sad, but things will get better.
When I’m angry, he has a hard time not laughing at me (the whole “you’re cute when you’re mad” thing)
When I’m having a terrible day, he has a way of making me laugh.
When I’m serious, he knows that it’s time to take massive action.

As a marketer, I couldn’t ask for a better asset to my plans. As a woman, I couldn’t ask for a better friend, nor could I ask for a better man. As a fashionista, I couldn’t ask for a better….cap on my finances? Without you, I probably would have bought far more than I could ever afford!

This year hasn’t been the best for me, but you rode it through with a quiet peace that I know comes from within.

I’m a professional, but today, I have to stand in front of all of you and tell you my joy — having Lee in my life makes me a well-rounded (hah!) person, in more ways than one. I thank God everyday for bringing me a man that accepts me at every point in my life.

Thank you, Lee. Happy Anniversary!

(and yes, I’m going out tonight, so you’ll have to wait for more DG excitement!)

You know why I think Stephen Jackson will succeed?

Because he has a product that touches on our #1 inner desire, what truly makes us human…

(more…)

I’m an American citizen. So when I write for Deluxegrrl, that’s the perspective that you’re getting. I’ve lived all over the States, and spent a few years in Europe as well. However, my experiences are strongly American — when I was staying in Germany, I wasn’t worried about plus size fashion — my mother made my clothes.

Swing forward to 2006 — I’m in southwest Missouri, where I have a few boutiques, the Charming Shoppes trifecta, and that’s about it. Is it peachy? No, it’s not. However, after reading some responses from those of you outside the US (and probably Canada as well), I guess I have a lot to be thankful for.

I owe my international readers a big apology — the grass always looks greener on the other side, but for all of you living outside of the States, our grass has got to be a mighty bright green.

I’m a picky shopper, and this blog doesn’t hide that — my darling fiancee-cum-accountant sees all of my receipts. I have to truly like not just the clothes, but the experience. That’s what I focus on — the experience of the purchase, not just the purchase itself.

If Igigi treated its customer base the way, say, Walmart, Target, Kohls & Co. do, would you honestly fanworship them? Would you buzz your designer on your blog, wear their clothing? When it comes to an exclusive shop like Igigi, it’s harder to play the income / circumstance card than it is for the other stores mentioned. In a nutshell, Igigi is more of a luxury, whilst if you’re clipping coupons, you might buy one or two pieces from Igigi, but they’re going to be few and far between.

However, all that aside — I’m blessed to be able to complain about experience. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop pointing out glaring customer service errors, nor will I stop discussing the dearth of other components of the shopping experience (more promotional pieces that make us center-stage, not just a leftover — see ‘The Five Finer Points of Plus Size Magazines’)

It simply means that I hear what you’re saying, international readers. Your problem is lack of product, period. My problem is decent product, substandard service.

I’m not going to drop $500+ for a new wardrobe, only to find the store ringing up my things (remember that employees are still agents of the company, and therefore contribute to the image of the store) doesn’t really give a flying notebook about my needs.

So I’m American-centric. My apologies. But I don’t know how bad the problem is unless you international folks give me a shout.

This started bubbling in my brain thanks to Tanis, one of our commentors without a webpage. Thank you, Tanis, for giving me food for thought.

I’ve been hunting for a sewing machine for a while now — hand sewing during my childhood scared me from sewing, but after countless hours on my feet, I think I’m going to look at alternatives.

I went and bought a Singer 8280, which my sewing friend (thank you, Kristel!) said should do the job for now. Of course, she owns one of those fancy, top-of-the-line varieties, but I’m definitely not there yet.

Quite frankly, I like the ownership of my stuff — which is why I’m taking this on. It doesn’t hurt that I’ve been strongly advised to find a hobby that doesn’t require electricity or monitors. My eyes will thank me in a few years.

I plan on sewing:

- several long dresses
- a few blouses (including one of those cute wrap-styles)
- some flat-front pants
- curtains!

I figure that will keep me busy for a while.
Over the next few days I will devote some time to gushing about my fabric. I’m really excited about the options I have sewing my own clothing. Of course, this means that my focus will shift more to accessories when I talk about clothes, but in a way, that’s for the best. Being able to have more money free for dazzling accessories is always a plus.

P.S - My fiancee’s grandmother is very sick (i.e, dying) — posting will be rather sporadic until things settle. Bear with us.

Now that I’ve moved to Springfield quasi-permanently, Deluxemom and I have lots of conversations — and plenty is said about plus size fashion. DM is older, and when we talk about the current offerings for plus size fashion, it’s clear that PSF is missing the over-35 group completely.
(more…)

Tags: older fashion, plus size fashion, over 35, style, clothing, fashion, image

I work from home. I’m a marketer, and I manage to keep the lights on day after day doing it. As I move around online, I’m always stopped by people asking me, “Should I get dressed up like I’m going to work? I mean, after all, it’s a work at home job.”

Well, it depends. If you have a work at home job, then I suppose you should do whatever you feel peace about. However, if you’re building a professional image, and a business that truly gives you the freedom to move about, then I suggest this thinking be altered just a bit.

When I get up in the morning, I’m a businesswoman. I’m meeting with clients, emailing people, calling shops on my phone… you get the idea. I might even have to run to the FedEx Kinko’s to pick up a big print job - do I really want them to see me in a t-shirt and jeans?

It’s not just about image though - think about how you feel when you dress nicer, and people actually notice - doesn’t that change how you feel? I know it does for me. It’s hard not to look pulled together in something business casual like.

Working from home doesn’t mean you can automatically throw out everything those friendly recruiters told you about in high school - their advice still carries weight in the self-employed world. If you’re a consultant, you still may have meetings - people to see, things to do.

Ladies, if you’re reading this blog, you know how much image is a factor. We’ve already got the world looking at us because we dare to look feminine, why make them do a double take because you look sloppy? Taking care of your hair and nails, minding your outfits, and putting on a professional attitude does make a difference.

Business cards, business wear, business attitude — now that’s what’s going to make the difference. Leaving the 9-to-5 world doesn’t mean rules fly out the window - you just get more leeway…and more rope to hang yourself with.

Make smart decisions and stay luxuriously deluxe,

Isabella Murphy

Working at home isn’t a cakewalk — and Isabella Murphy knows this from experience. If you like what she had to say about fashion for work at home women, why not join her mailing list? You can get special deals, more tips, free mini e-courses, and announcements on her new books for women just like you! In fact, if you join her mailing list before October 30, you will be entered in a contest to win a $100 gift certificate to ObeyYourBody, a site that sells Dead Sea Cosmetics! For more information on why Dead Sea Cosmetics are important, check out what Isabella has to say about these great skincare products!

Don’t let December be the only time you’re actually social - while the holidays are important, your loved ones still want you to be happy, safe, and well year-round! I went to see my father, which was exciting in of itself, but it got me thinking about social engagements, dressing up, and meeting new people.

I’m not a social butterfly, but I do like to dress. I stick to the same rules in fashion as I do in writing, speaking, or anything else - “be yourself!” If you’re a schoolmarm that wears turtlenecks and coveralls, don’t feel pressured to become a cocktail dress wearin’, Cosmo sippin’, couture-aware jetsetter. There’s so many styles of dress out there, why not stay true to your style instead of trying to completely reinvent yourself?

I learned this lesson the hard way over the last few weeks. I’m a conservative dresser — I like flowy kimono style tops, long black skirts, and just a touch of skin showing. This isn’t always 100% the case, but overall, that’s me. As I grow more comfortable with myself, I may throw on a tank top and a skirt and walk clean out the door.

Without diving headfirst into a church sermon - I believe that you have to have peace about your actions. If wearing skinny jeans doesn’t give you peace, then save yourself the angst and don’t wear them. If a plunging neckline makes your stomach turn, turn towards a square neck or a cute button-up instead. I live on career-style blouses, myself. Ignoring that peace is what lands us in trouble most of the time. It doesn’t even have to deal with how we look, but how we treat others.

This is my “reality call” before everyone gets wrapped up into the social scene during this time - your family will still love you if you aren’t wearing the latest and greatest, and any significant other worth their salt will still crave to be seen with you.

Now, how’s that for “positive body image”?

Isabella Murphy wants each and every one of you to be the best you can be, all year round. As the year draws to a close, however, why not pamper yourself one last time? Enter the Makeup Madness $100 Cosmetics Giveaway today!