So I have a new job (part of the reason why I’ve been a little silent lately), new boyfriend (who lives three hours away, and my car takes premium gas. Hello!?), and new waistline (dropped from a size 28 to a 22 the gradual way — this is a project of mine that’s taken me months to achieve!). So now I wonder what I ought to wear to work.

You see, I work in a call center. My co-workers wear jeans. I own maybe 2 pairs of jeans (with one of them being wayyy too big for me to wear now! Part of me wants to autograph them and sell ‘em, but that’s my ego talkin )

I wear lots of blouse + slacks combos, because the slacks are flattering and they do give me a professional edge. However, I don’t want to stick out THAT much, but I don’t want to wear jeans.

I’m thinking maybe a softer look, like khakis or chinos or those cute pants from yester-fashion-year — you remember the black, brown and grey short pants…lordy I can’t remember what they’re called and they were a MAJOR fashion must-have last year…my pair are black, with a tab waist…they go a few inches below the knee, and are pants with a silky polyester material. What they’re called is on the tip of my tongeu, but I can’t think of it.

When I wash them, I’ll take a pic and see if anyone knows what I’m talking about.

And yes, I’m back. I will try, try, try to post at least 2x a week. Oh, and if you’re contacting me for any reason, do realize there is a severe email backlog — so if you’ve emailed me in the last couple of months and haven’t heard from me, send me another email.

If you haven’t heard about the Virginia Tech shooting, educate yourself with a google search. For the 99% of the world that’s seen the news, the title of this post is truly fitting.

I look over my room, see all this *stuff*, all these clothes…and realize that honestly, that’s not what I want to think about today, or focus on today.

I don’t know the shooter. I never got to talk to him, I don’t know what he was going through. I do know that he killed a lot of people, and to add insult to injury, killed himself. There’s no one to beat up, there’s no one to scream at, nothing. There are fingers pointing in a million directions, a lonely student that was so filled with rage that he exploded. Was it only a matter of time?

I don’t know how to fix the problem — all I know is that it hurts. Having lost many people over the years (including close friends that were murdered), I still am left with one question: How do we keep this from happening?

We. really. don’t. know.

Today is not a fashion day. Today is a day for thought.

I could not be the bearer of such terrible news to a parent that waits for the day their child comes back home to them, fresh out of college and ready to take on the world.

I am terribly sorry, to those that are burying their children, as well as those that are left with children scrambling to figure out how to move on, how to get past that terrible day. It would be half-baked to exclude them from the list.

To the family of the shooter, you too have lost a child, and for that I am sorry. I pray that the other families will give you peace — you are not your child’s actions.

For the rest of the world, we are left with questions, left with quiet glances at our own children, and constant wonder about what else life will throw at us. Virginia Tech could have easily been Missouri State, could have easily been Duke, or Harvard, or Yale. It could have been your local community college. Maybe that’s why the story touches so many people.

I’ll post tomorrow, but I can’t right now.